Amy Murray is the director of early childhood education at the Calgary
French & International School in Canada. The following post, which
appeared on her blog, Miss Night’s Marbles and
which I am republishing with her permission, is a powerful open letter
directed to parents about THAT kid, the one other kids go home and talk
about, the one who is violent, curses and gets angry in class, the one
who parents worry will hurt, disrupt and perhaps influence their own
children. Murray is also the co-founder of #Kinderchat (www.kinderchat.net),
a twitter-based global community for educators of young children. She
is a speaker and trainer on learning through play, self-regulation,
behavior management, and the use of technology within the classroom.
Dear Parent:
I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child
comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting,
shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children. The one
who always has to hold my hand in the hallway. The one who has a
special spot at the carpet, and sometimes sits on a chair rather than
the floor. The one who had to leave the block center because blocks are
not for throwing. The one who climbed over the playground fence right
exactly as I was telling her to stop. The one who poured his neighbor’s
milk onto the floor in a fit of anger. On purpose. While I was watching.
And then, when I asked him to clean it up, emptied the ENTIRE paper
towel dispenser. On purpose. While I was watching. The one who dropped
the REAL ACTUAL F-word in gym class.
You’re worried that THAT
child is detracting from your child’s learning experience. You’re
worried that he takes up too much of my time and energy, and that your
child won’t get his fair share. You’re worried that she is really going
to hurt someone some day. You’re worried that “someone” might be your
child. You’re worried that your child is going to start using aggression
to get what she wants. You’re worried your child is going to fall
behind academically because I might not notice that he is struggling to
hold a pencil. I know.
Your child, this year, in this classroom,
at this age, is not THAT child. Your child is not perfect, but she
generally follows rules. He is able to share toys peaceably. She does
not throw furniture. He raises his hand to speak. She works when it is
time to work, and plays when it is time to play. He can be trusted to
go straight to the bathroom and straight back again with no shenanigans.
She thinks that the S-word is “stupid” and the C-word is “crap.” I
know.
Related Article: After School Linky (7-6)
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